4th of July: A Time to Celebrate!

My son at the fireworks!

This year was the best fourth of July fireworks.  It's not that they were the most spectacular, they were the best because my son watched them from the front row.  It's quite an accomplishment when you consider the love/hate relationship he's had with them since he was a little boy.  He liked them from afar, but hated being too close.

So ever since then, we've been working on what I call fireworks desensitization.


At first, he was only able to tolerate them from a mile away with the windows closed.  We eventually got the car closer and he would put the windows up and down as he could tolerate.  In time, we moved to sitting on the grass a half mile away, but the car was parked in front of us so he could take refuge if he needed.  This year, we were as close as they allow you to get.  Sure, he plugged his ears once in a while, but he truly enjoyed every bit of it.  He was so happy!  I enjoyed the fireworks, but I was so happy to watch him and see how far we have come.

No One is Not Valid

I snapped this photo because I couldn't believe my eyes

I'm going to be brief.  There are many words we thankfully have abolished to describe people who have a disability.  Invalid is one of them.  

One meaning of the word is "not valid," another is "not well, weak, sickly." No matter which definition,  I can't imagine anyone who would choose to be described by it.  Or, be driven around in a van that screams it!

Think Twice at the Pump!

I feel compelled to tell every woman (and man) about the front-row experience I had to a car jacking.  As I had done hundreds of times before, I pulled up to get gas at the filling station.  I pulled up about 5 feet to the car in front of me.  A sweet looking, 60ish looking woman was pumping her gas.  I also noticed a mid-age man leaning against the gas station building.  I thought it was a bit odd, but it's not exactly against the law to look suspicious and be waiting for someone.

What happened next took place in a blink of an eye.  The lady finished pumping her gas; she walked to the front door to get in.  At the same time, the man dashed toward her, pushed her out of the way and jumped into her car, took her keys and sped off.

The poor woman didn't know what hit her.  Thank goodness he didn't harm her!

I spent the next two hours with her and being interviewed by the police.  I was fine, until I got home and the shock of it hit me.  Then I started thinking "what if......?"

What if it had been me?  Had I pulled in seconds before it would have been my car that was targeted.  What if my son had been in the car?  What would have I done?  What would my son have done?  What would the man have done to my son?  Of course, my thoughts all went to the worst case scenario.

My son has an autism spectrum disorder and is essentially non-verbal.  I don't believe he would have been able to know what to do or defend himself.  O.K, so enough ruminating.  Here's the take away:

When you pull into pump gas, look around and pay attention to the surroundings.  If you see someone hanging around for no apparent purpose, be suspicious!  Drive out and go to the next gas station if you have to think twice.

We Don't Do That in This District

There are lot's of things I hear at IEP team meetings that cause me to bristle and take a deep breath.  One of them is when I hear "We don't do that in this district."

It was recently said at a meeting in which we were discussing the possibility of a student requiring a residential program as part of an appropriate placement.  The director said, "we've never paid for the residential portion of an educational program,  we don't do that here."

As I usually do,  I took a few deep breaths and contemplated my response to make sure I said something appropriate.

I explained that I was a uncomfortable with his response and I would be more than happy to ignore it.  But, if he really meant it and wanted it on the record, than I would request for the district's position to be on the record.  Loud and clear!

I explained that I was uncomfortable with it because he was predetermining what the IEP team was going to decide about the student's program.  Additionally, it sounded like it was their policy not to do such things, and it wouldn't be appropriate for the district to have a policy about what they do and don't pay for as a part of a student's IEP.

He rethought his definitive statement about not paying for residential portions of educational placements and said he wanted to wait to see what the evaluators had to say about what the student needed.

I confirmed that I thought that was a great idea!

We Don't Hold IEP Team Meetings in the Summer

Once again I find myself getting phone calls from parents who tell me their school district is telling them they can't have an IEP team meeting during the summer.

Is it more difficult to have an IEP team meeting in the summer if you are the school district?  Yes.  It means that they have to call in teachers, and perhaps other team members, who are not under contract to work during the summer.  It means special arrangements have to be made to get them to come in for a meeting.  It isn't exactly what the school district wants to do.   So, more often than not (in my experience) it results in school districts telling parents they don't hold IEP team meetings over the summer.

This is where I tell parents to write an email that goes something like this:

Dear Director of Special Education,


I recently requested a IEP team meeting to be held in the summer.  I was told that the district does not conduct IEP team meetings in the summer.  If that is the case, would you please kindly provide me with the district's written policy which states that IEP team meetings are not held during the summer.  I look forward to hearing from you.


Most sincerely,

What always happens next is that a follow up phone call or email reveals that there is no such policy.

Think about it, if it were a policy like that, it would essentially restrict a parents' to exercise their rights under the IDEA to 9 months out of the year - at least through IEP team meetings.

Once you've established that they don't have "such policy," ask them again - in writing - for an IEP team meeting.  That is if they haven't already offered you one!

Don't Put All Your Stock in Hallway Conversations

In my experience talking with parents who have special education concerns, it is disturbing for me to learn about misinformation often given to them in hallway conversations with teachers or other school staff.

Don't get me wrong.  This is not about teachers or other school staff and placing blame on them.  Most teachers are worth their weight in gold.  But, ultimately most teachers are not experts on the IDEA (Individual with Disabilities Education Act) and your rights under this federal law.

Here's an example.  I had a parent insist that he couldn't refer his child to special education because his child's teacher said that only teachers could make the referral.   After I took a couple of deep breaths, I explained that the teacher's explanation was not entirely true.  Teachers can make referrals to special education, and so can you!  Please know that you, as a parent or guardian can refer your child to special education.  The referral can trigger initial evaluations in all suspected areas of disability by your school team or other professionals.

In another example, a parent explained to me that the school speech and language pathologist reported to him that his son was going to be exited from special education at the next IEP team meeting because he was doing so well.  O.K., I would consider that predetermining an outcome at it's best.  So hold on right there, this type of decision can only be made in an IEP team meeting where many things are taken into consideration when exiting a child from special education.

So whether your child is not currently in special education or already receiving special education services, you would be well-served to request an IEP (Individualized Education Program) team meeting to discuss all of your questions and concerns.

So while it's tempting to put all your stock in what you've discussed casually in the hallway, don't

Commit Yourself to the Noble Struggle of Equal Rights

U.S. Capitol

On a recent vacation to Washington D.C. I was awestruck by how big all of the National Buildings are.  It's clear that our forefathers had big IDEAS for the future of our Country and wanted to make a big statement.

All the National Buildings are emblazoned with carvings of  inspiring guiding principals.  For a girl who loves her quotes, I was in my glory!

And then there are the Memorials.

I strolled upon this inspiring thought by Martin Luther King at the MLK Memorial:

"Make a career of Humanity.  Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights, you will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your Country, and a finer world to live in."

While I am thankful for all of the inspiring guiding principals engraved throughout
D.C., this quote especially spoke to me.

I am committed to helping parents enforce their rights under the IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act).  It isn't always easy.  But standing their at the MLK Memorial taking it all in filled me with pride in the hope we are able to feel living in this Country.

I hope there is a day when I do not have to help parents enforce the IDEA.  Wouldn't it be great for people to look back at MLK's quote one day and say, "can you believe there was a day when people had to struggle for equal rights?"

A girl can dream!  In the meanwhile, I am thankful that I play a small role in the struggle for equal rights by working with parents to enforce their rights under the IDEA and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act.