It's Not About Access Anymore

Believe it or not, there was a day when children who had disabilities were turned away from the school house doors.

Thank goodness, those days are over.  Today, students who have disabilities are entitled to an "Appropriate" education in addition to be allowed in the building.

No, I Have Not Met The Student

I am frequently asked by IEP team members if, as the special education advocate,  I have met the student for whom I am advocating.  In fact, many team members have been quite offended if I haven't.

Let me explain, as I recently did to a director of special education, why I will not apologize or back pedal for not meeting the student.

I am a special education advocate.  I am not a speech and language pathologist, special education teacher,  regular education teacher, psychologist, social worker, occupational therapist or physical therapist.  As a special education advocate is it my role to work with parents toward the goal of getting an appropriate program in place for their child under the rights they have in the IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act).

The IEP team must consider the professional recommendations of professionals who evaluate and make recommendations about a students education based on their area of expertise, such as a speech and language pathology, psychology, occupational therapy, psychiatry, etc..  As a special education advocate, I am not the professional who should have an opinion based on a field in which I am not an expert regarding their education program

While it's always a bonus for me to meet the student, I do not believe it is my role to be a member of the team who dictates intervention, programming or specific evaluations.  However, I can certainly be that professional who guides the team toward the professionals who can.

I am the person on the team who is ever mindful of parents and students rights under the IDEA.  And believe me, I have plenty to say about that!

Please Don't Call Me "Mom"

My name is "Julie," please don't call me "mom"

There is nowhere I personally go in my daily life where adults call me "mom," so it is with great wonder that it happens to the mothers with whom I work at IEP team meetings with regularity.  Now for some reason, I don't experience that fathers are referred to as "dad" by staff.  It is a practice that seems to be reserved for mothers.

As a parent of a child with a disability and a special education advocate, this practice used by school staff  really bothers me.  It usually begins right at the beginning of the meeting when everyone goes around and introduces themselves.  Parents will say their names, usually followed by "I'm the mom or dad."  So for the rest of the meeting everyone on the team calls the mother "mom."

While the speech and language pathologist says "I'm Susie, the speech and language pathologist," nobody refers to her as "speech and language pathologist."  People around the table call her "Susie."

The cynic in me believes that referring to mothers as "mom"  lessens their position as an equal team member.  Being the "mom" to my sons is my greatest accomplishment in life, but I still want to be called by my name, it's Julie.

I have a solution for it.  As an advocate, I NEVER refer to the parents with whom I work as "mom," or "dad."  I call them by their names.  In this way, I try to model the behavior I would hope the rest of the team follows.  It rarely happens that team follows suit, by the way.

As a parent, when I am at my own IEP team meetings, if a staff member calls me "mom," I politely say "oh, please call me Julie."  I advise the parents with whom I work to do the same.

Perhaps you are not offended when IEP team members call you "mom" or "dad." I suppose it's a personal thing, but having attended hundreds upon hundreds of IEP team meeting with parents, my opinion is that parents should be treated equally on the team.  You are a member of the team and, it is my opinion, you should be called by your name, just as everyone else is.